Why are Children disrespecting parents? Perhaps some are now thinking: “Yes, ok, maybe. It might work with some children, but what about a child who doesn’t give a shit about my feelings or that I position myself clearly?
Yes, I know that as well! In fact, I know it very, very well.
These are probably also the children who don’t care about your punishments and consequences and who will go a step further.
You announced the power struggle for them. These are situations that often escalate, the child then ends up with the director, or a reprimand is given.
How to handle children if they are disrespecting parents?
So, if children are disrespecting parents, here is the best option…
… All I´m asking is for a little respect …
Children who are initially immune to your relationship offer and your appreciative and equitable attitude are mostly children, whom adults never show respect – not at home or at school.
They have a harder time and it will take longer before you convince them that you really care about them and that you respect them.
And then it will take another time for them to anchor this behavior in themselves. The internal appreciation level must first rise above 0 and the tank must be properly filled.
When that happens, they can start treating you with respect.
You have to give them a huge advance in respect and in this phase you have to take “disrespectful” behavior and behavior over and over again.
I was annoyed for a long time. But then I realized: my children simply cannot help themselves.
Quite simply because they were never allowed to learn from us. Or not been exemplified.
Because when dinner’s ready, I’ll call her into the kitchen. Even though she’s reading a book. And if she plays with her stuffed animals, but we are about to miss the bus, I also call them: Please get dressed, we have to go now! Although her stuffed animals are just as important to her as my husband is to me.
Do you see it? I keep interrupting her. But expect that they can patiently wait for my husband and me to finish talking.
For me, real appreciation means that I (ever) appreciate the value of people – regardless of whether they appreciate and recognize me.
Have in mind that this challenging child (probably because of his challenging behavior) is treated with respect in very few places.
Maybe you are the only one who does this. It is of course even better if you adopt this attitude as a team, practice it, and maybe even include the entire environment.
This child needs a feeling of security, understanding, and acceptance. These may not be the first words that come to mind when you think of children that are disrespecting parents.
It’s about the absolute basic need of every person to be loved and accepted – just the way you are.
Develop a new look
Often we only notice all the annoying situations, and we no longer have an eye for the child and all of his special aspects that he definitely has !!!!!!!
Take your time and collect what the child is good at. Write it down What is the childlike? Who is this person? Try to understand what it is thinking and feeling.
Regardless of what you think of yourself, the child is allowed to be the way it is, and it’s ok the way it is, it’s about this basic attitude. Spend a lot of time with the child.
It also means that you may have to get out of your comfort zone, for example, I’m not particularly athletic, but by playing soccer with children I was able to establish contact.
I also don’t know chess, or I don’t find trading cards exciting, but it has already paved the way for me to a relationship and for me, it is part of building a relationship.
I respect you
Signal to the child: you are ok the way you are! And I respect YOU! I promise you, at some point, you will notice it in the child’s behavior! And it will treat you and others with respect.
Find out the root of problems
Why did your child behave this way at the moment?
Try to empathize with your child and consider why they are behaving this way.
So if your child is upset or sad, for example, bring you emotionally on a level with him and ask: “I have the feeling you are angry/sad, why is that?” Because if you get to the bottom of the cause, you can solve the problem.
Read 9 nice steps to regulate your entire emotions.
How children learn to respect:
- Instead of shouting from the hallway, we can touch our children on the wrist and ask: “May I interrupt you for a moment, dear Simona?” And ask after a “yes” whether she would like to come out now or whether she needs a few more minutes to finish playing.
- If they let us finish, we can appreciate it and say: «Thank you for waiting. That means a lot to me. Now I am completely there for you. “
- Instead of manipulating children with punishments or rewards, we can rely on intrinsic motivation. This is stronger than external incentives.
- Instead of ranting about spilled milk, we can say: «Never mind! Something like that can happen. ” And hand the child a rag. Just like if it happened to a visitor.
- Instead of just picking up a toddler, we can ask it beforehand: “Is it okay for you if I pick you up now?”
- Instead of putting a baby on the changing table, we can ask it: “We’re going to change your diaper now, is that okay?” And if the answer is a definite “No!” we can find a solution together.
- If we make a mistake and, for example, blame our children for something, we can apologize to them.
- If a waiter pats our children on the head, we can ask them not to. Just as he would not do with an adult.
- Before we take care of neighbors’ children, we can first ask them: “Will you come with us to the playground while your mom goes shopping?” And only after a “Yes!” say goodbye to mother.
- Instead of trying to “shape” or “teach” them, we can trust our children that they know best themselves.
- When we give something to a child, we can quietly enjoy their reaction. And the “How do you say?” just leave.
- We can cry baby or spite child huff or Drama Queen underline replacement from our vocabulary. Instead, say a little person or baby or toddler or their wonderful first names.
Prevent bad behavior before it occurs!!
Prevention is sometimes the best form of upbringing. Try to create an environment for your child at home in which bad behavior does not arise in the first place.
Look out for things that make your child disrespectful and find ways to change the situation so that your child feels comfortable and secure.
Especially in small children, outbursts of anger are usually triggered by things like hunger, tiredness, fears, and lack of understanding.
Think about how you can prevent this.
Also, consider whether there are compromises you can make to avoid your child’s outbursts in the future.
Teach Your Child Compassion
Raising your child is not only about blaming bad behavior, but also about teaching right behavior.
Compassion is one of the most important things you can teach your child. Explain why his behavior hurts others.
The question “How would you feel if …” is the best way to explain to your child why their behavior is wrong.
Be a good role model
Show your child the right behavior. Act as you would expect your child to do.
Be kind to others, stay calm and relaxed in stressful situations, and show your child how to properly deal with emotions such as anger and sadness.
Promote positive behavior
A positive affirmation can help change your child’s behavior.
In addition to blaming them for bad behavior, praise them for small positive changes in their behavior. It learns more quickly which behavior is right and which is wrong.
So if a child keeps behaving cheekily and disrespectfully, there is usually a reason for it.
As parents, it is important to get to the bottom of this, not only so that there is peace again at home, but above all, to have a permanently happy child who does not have to attract the attention of his parents through bad behavior.
Now you discover why children are disrespecting parents.
I wish you every success on this path where you sometimes only get ahead in small tippy steps towards your beloved children.